Feeling good

It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him.
-- Abraham Lincoln

In our walk of life we will meet people who will snub us, criticize us or make us feel inferior. With or without reason. I don’t believe in letting them succeed. No one has any right to make others feel inferior. Unless he has done something extremely inferior.

As long as we are on the right path, we should always remember the truth that God has created us just the way we are. In God’s eyes no one is inferior. So we should never feel inferior because that will mean looking down upon God’s creation.

We should never think ourselves inferior for any thing because God has created us with some plan in her mind. Sooner or later we will realize that she creates every one to serve his or her specific purpose. Every single thing fits into that purpose. So keep your spirit up forever.

People who know deep in their heart that God created them with a purpose and as her reflection have no reason to be sad, miserable or fret.

dignity

One's dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but cannot be taken away unless it is surrendered.
-- Michael J. Fox

This is so very true. No one can take away our dignity as long as we don’t let them take it away. And dignity is never to be given away. No one but God can demand our dignity to be surrendered before her. That is why she never demands it from us.

We often hurt ourselves by thinking that that “this” man has ruined our dignity, well; he can ruin our reputation but not dignity. Dignity is just where it was before. Scandalizing has not hurt it an ounce.

Those people who have the courage of walking their own path may meet these attacks again and again. They should always keep the words said in this quote in mind. No one can take away any thing from us unless we surrender it to him.

Castles in air

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.
-- Henry David Thoreau

Being a die hard dreamer, I humbly bow and agree with him. We all should dream, and then pick out those dreams which are worthy of being made real and then go ahead and build the foundation under those castles. That’s how dreams are turned into reality. Every achievement was sleeping in someone’s mind once, as a dream, as a hope. Then one day he just gave it its form.

Dreams are the greatest joy of life but we will have to keep this truth in mind. If we want a castle, it hardly matters where we start it, in water, in air or on earth. The thing that matters is how deep its foundation will go. How much concrete we will put under its base so that it gets a concrete form.

Before pushing someone too hard

Sometimes people do it for fun, sometimes out of ego or other strong emotions. They push a person till he surrenders.

 

When we are in the superior position we tend to forget about the cat, the cat always try to escape injury. It uses all its skill to run away but they say that a cornered cat reminds one of its wild sister, tigress.

 

In our jest or ego we ignore the feeling of others, and sometimes they surprise us by striking back with the vehemence of the cat, or worse, the deadly vehemence of a threatened snake.

 

That is why wise people don’t try the patience of others. They never push someone to corner. They let others decide what they want to do or should do.

Before criticizing

Never criticize a man until you've walked a mile in his moccasins. -- Native American Proverb

I have loved this quote ever since I first read this quote. I am very slow to form any type of opinion about anyone. Though I make a mental picture of everyone instantly but I take very long time to bring them on my lips. Usually I just skip the latter part and keep them to myself or share with some very hand-counted people. People about whom I am confident that will rectify me if they think I am wrong.

 

Very frankly speaking its very easy to say, “I would have never done that.” But if we dig deep we will see that almost all actions have roots far deeper than we see from above. And in most cases, if we go down with the root a little, with an open mind we will see that his life was leading to it.

 

No normal human being can happily do wrong things, so when someone does some thing wrong it means that there was something wrong with his life, or the circumstances in which the thing happened. Before hating or pointing our finger at him we should see and feel his condition.

Anything

Anything you could ever want or be you already have and are. -- David Russell

 

A handful of pearls stringed together to be worn by any one who can realize their worth.  Ever since the day I started to believe this quote my life became happier and content.

 

It’s a beautiful truth; we are what we wanted to be. If we don’t like it we can always improve ourselves to better but we should never be upset or sad.

 

There are some exceptions to every case, but most of us consciously make ourselves. We change ourselves due to different reasons and chisel out the latest versions. But we should always remember one thing, human soul is made of light, we can any time remodel it if we sincerely try. It’s not made of stone or metal that once done is done, there is no turning back.

 

I have seen people changing themselves completely, sometimes for better sometimes for worse.

An easy life

Do not believe that he who seeks to comfort you lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. His life has much difficulty... Were it otherwise he would never have been able to find those words.

            -- Rainer Maria Rilke

 

We very quickly form this opinion. A person who is smiling too much has never tasted pain.  A person who preaches has not seen the real life from close circles. Mostly it is wrong. He has suffered that is why he is offering you the counsel. So that you are spared from the pain. Or may be he has seen someone else suffer. That is why he is able to offer you the counsel.

 

People who are courageous and wise rarely discuss their own pain and sufferings. For they know that they have reached this place of peace after suffering too long and bringing back those memories will only cause them further pain, without any gain. Just like putting finger in a wound that is healing. So they avoid those memories after learning lessons from them, and prefer to share their lessons with others so they are spared from committing the same follies.

Age and wisdom

Not by age but by capacity is wisdom acquired….. Titus Maccius Plautus

 

Wisdom has nothing to do with age. I have seen senior citizens innocent as small babes and young men and women as wise as sage. Just think, all the prophets of human history have gained immense wisdom before reaching maturity.

 

How much wisdom a person will be able to soak depends on his capacity. Some people soak wisdom by instinct. It appears as if they become wise by just being. They don’t need to study hard, they just read all the things we read and simply squeeze out the wisdom out of that. Have seen so many of them that I know its true about some people. They are just wise.

 

No one looks at their black hair, they just listen to them when they speak and realize that they are speaking the facts of life. They are uttering the greatest words of wisdom with the ease of a seventy year old weather ripe person.

Reading

Never read a book through merely because you have begun it.

            -- John Witherspoon

 

It took me years to learn this word of wisdom. When I was growing up I used to believe that if I start doing a thing I should finish it.

 

I have read so many horrible books and seen so many horrible movies just because I started them. Then I realized with maturity that the thinking should be done before starting. And if in the midway I realize that I am wasting my time on a thing then its perfectly alright to put it down after a through analysis of .the results and consequences.

 

I believe that its foolishness to continue in a road just because I started to walk in it, knowing all the time that it leads me nowhere or away from my destination.

 

Sometimes we realize our mistakes a little late, we should stop it then and there in place of furthering it.

 

Heroes

Our heroes are people and people are flawed. Don't let that taint the thing you love.

-- Randy K. Milholland, 

 

The above caption depicts my view on my heroes, my heroes are not celebrities always, they are sometimes people I love and adore and sometimes people I have never even seen. I hold the above view for both of them.

 

When we adore someone too much we tend to forget that they are human beings who may commit serious mistakes or even sin. If that mistake or sin is forgivable or his repentance is genuine we may re think before withdrawing our love and trust on him.

 

Its very easy to expect but its not half that easy to perform as per that expectations. It’s a harsh truth that we expect too much from our idols. Often that expectation crosses every limit of rationality. So we should be compassionate if they don’t meet our expectations.

 

That will make the life pleasant for us and easy for them.

The pond

When I was a child I used to live in Uttar Pradesh, my father worked there as a doctor, we used to visit burdwan once in a four year. At that time the pond attached to my ancestral home was well maintained. I still remember the warnings given out to us, to never go near the pond because one of my nephews have been rescued from it. Don’t know about the authenticity of the story but it reined our adventurous spirits for sure.

When I returned to live there in 1985 it was still fully alive and a fisherman used to breed and catch fish there. He had to stop it because of the harassments by the goons of the locality. After that the pond slowly filled up. If I am not wrong it must have been sold by now, that is the plot.

But back then it was beautiful. I have seen so many colours of it. When I first saw it, it was simply blackish from my first floor window and a little transparent from the banks. It never had crystal clear water, may be because of the fishes. During the monsoon the water used to become green, clear, distinct green and then the small plants used to cover the entire surface. It looked really gorgeous but the fishermen used to drag them away and pile in the banks because they disturbed the growth of fish.

There were atleast seven or eight coconut trees, two jack fruit, a berry and four mango trees surrounding it. These coconut trees were home to families of egrets. Their babies cry like human babies and make a strange clucking sound in the night. It took quite a time to get habituated of them but in toto they were quite amusing.

It was quite a beautiful sight to see egrets meditating on the water and the kingfishers on the branches, in case some absent minded fish gives them too easy a catch. When these two birds fly they make a very beautiful sight. Especially the egrets when they are flying against dark monsoon clouds. I adore that scene.

It’s a real joy to have a water body near your home and my home at burdwan had atleast half a dozen visible from the roof top. Water bodies are truly beautiful and are unfortunately the most abused things too. I am a big advocate of them. I personally believe its utter foolishness to fill them up or pollute them unnecessarily. Sooner or later nature settles the score.

Fruit bearing trees

I love flower trees/plants. They are the most gorgeous trees without any doubt. But fruit bearing trees have their own advantages too. Especially for those who love animals and birds and are a little grown up.

My home at burdwan had a lot of fruit bearing trees- coconut, mango, berry, guava, custard apple etc etc.

When we were growing up we used to fight tooth and nail with birds, squirrels and langurs. It was really fun. Now when I look back I think we were far funnier than those innocent children of nature. No sooner than we heard them squeaking in the trees we used to run and try to scare them away. Every one ran away but the langurs. It was next to impossible to make them leave. But we tried all the same.

Then after growing up it became fun to watch them eat. They used to spend hours on the trees, feeding on leaves, fruits. Feeding their children, nursing them, playing. As for birds and squirrels they were every day visitors. That did not reduce their charm by the way.

Its great to have some fruit trees around you if you don’t have destructible properties around them. For example, if you plant a few fruit trees in your vegetable or flower garden you will like rolling on the ground and howling when a group of langur or squirrels have been through them. They are very, very destructive. Sparrows and squirrels are deadly for small plants and langurs are killers.. they destroy almost all plants, sapling or grown up. But if you want to plant only big trees, in that case fruit trees can be quite fun if you want to share them with other children of nature.

As for me, my dream garden contains a small pond and lots of fruit trees surrounding it, and a covered portion full of flower plants.

The mango tree

There were three mango trees beside the pond in my ancestral home. I have seen them since my early childhood and one of them bore quite an ample amount of fruit till the date a mastodon chopped them off for money.

 

The things which I loved most about those trees were they were home for a lot of birds. I used to sleep in a first floor bedroom back then, the branches of one of the trees almost touched my window. I used to sit at the window and watch the birds quite often.

 

Early dawn of summer meant a group of doyels singing a melody from the branches, these tiny birds had a very loud voice, enough to wake you up if you are sleeping near the window, but you wont grumble, that much I can assure you because they will bless you with a divine strain for next half an hour. It starts with a hesitant chirping, soon touches the peak and then stops.

 

Drowsy noon of summer meant the soothing call of doves, who used to sit on the braches in pair and softly sang while endlessly petting each other.

 

There were gorgeous kingfishers and woodpeckers. Both looking for their foods. One in the pond, and the other in the tree itself.

 

Occasional visitors like benebou, who called in the sweetest voice or the nightingales who were mostly silent but sometimes played a little symphony.

 

Then there were wingless beings too, gangs of langurs who came there for mangos or berries. Squirrels who lived there and ran around the branches playfully. It’s a great thing to have a fruit tree like that in home. They always invite birds and animals for food.

A river flowed by

My ancestral homes are situated on both banks of damodar river. One in burdwan, the one in which I lived till 7^th august 2007 and the second one in the opposite side of damodar, where our ancestors lived for centuries. Our old, almost ruined home is there. Every year Durgapuja is held there with a huge gathering. Apart from that Kalipuja is held with a small gathering and every other puja is performed in the temples created by my ancestors.

 

Damodar is most probably one of the most attractive rivers in India, it’s a very wide river, but maximum proportion of the river bed is sand, with small streams of water running through them. Crystal clear water, sometimes just wetting your feet and sometimes upto throat or may be more.  We were terrorized by elders and villagers that there are shifting sands and other scary things so we never ventured much.

 

I personally believe that most probably sometimes the sand banks gave away beneath the feet of a non swimmer plunging him into very deep water without any chances of getting out. We have seen those sand banks without water, they are sometimes very high, fifteen or twenty feet, may be more. And just like any other sand sculpture they are always ready to crumble.

 

I have spent a lot of time in the companionship of this river. One of my favourite hobbies was to wake up before dawn and take the longest possible route to the river bridge, watch the sunrise there and return home.

 

During the durgapujas I used to spend a lot of time having fun on its banks with my nephew and nieces. Splashing in the water and playing with the sand. Or just sitting there and talking for hours. Watching the river and enjoying its serene beauty.

A neem tree

How many of you have had a huge neem tree in your garden? We had one, in our courtyard; I think it was older than me. I recollect seeing it when I have visited my home as a small baby. Then childhood memories are quite tricky, but its trunk was massive so it might have been older than me. It was chopped down by the same troll, the greatest troll I have ever met in my lifetime and am not very keen to meet another or him again.

 

Neem trees are really beautiful, a little messy because they shed leaves but they compensate by wonderfully fragrant flowers. I love the fragrance of neem flowers and they look very beautiful too. I used to put the branches in flower vase after storm, they stayed fresh for a day or two, without fragrance though.. only the beauty.

 

The branches of this tree touched our roof, and created a wonderful hiding place for me, I used to climb down on a wide parapet with a book, or walkman and sit there for hours. I could see the surrounding from the cover of the leaves but was only partially visible to others. It gave a sense of disappearance in the crowd.

 

There were lots of squirrels on that tree; it also invited parrots and other birds with its ripe fruits. Parrots and koyals used to come and eat those bitter sweet fruits, my siblings also relished them, I tried a couple of times but did not love them much. I preferred the flowers and the tree itself.

 

We used to climb it a lot before a creeper completely covered it, that creeper had thorns, so we were deprived of that joy thereafter.

 

When a tree is standing in your garden for years it becomes like a living being, someone you know, I wonder why trolls don’t feel the same way. These people have an inborn hatred for every thing beautiful I believe, and its really painful to live around them.

Feeding

This joy unraveled itself to me as a pleasant surprise. It was the most pleasant surprise of my life.  

 

I don’t remember the exact year, it must be some time between 2001-2003, a cyclonic weather formed in my hometown, Burdwan. In West Bengal such weathers are not too unusual because the low pressure weather is not much different than it. The same symptoms, days without a single sight of sun and a steady drizzle, with or without wind.

 

During this weather disturbance I first encountered a hungry squirrel, I was drinking tea in our verandah, when that little thing scurried toward me, it was desperate with hunger because it started to eat crumbs hardly a feet away from me, so I did what every human being will do I guess, I slowly placed down a piece of biscuit as far away from myself as I could and it instantly grabbed it and ran away a little distance to eat it. Soon another follwed it and by the end of an hour I was happily feeding atleast a dozen of them and some bulbuls or nightingales. Thus started a  strange routine.

 

I bought a few packets of puffed rice and started to feed the squirrels, the weather cleared after a week but they did not ran away. I fed them till the last day I spent in Burdwan, that is seventh August 2005. We left early in the morning but I scattered the last meal for them in the garden before leaving.

 

They taught me how pleasing it is to feed a hungry soul. Very rare joys can compete with this specific joy I believe. The trust in their eyes, their childish pranks for food, the memory of those days will be treasured in my heart forever.

My cat

I have a pet cat. She is not my private property. She is a free soul, who roams around the whole neighbourhood and spends quite an ample time outside my window.

 

 

I prefer not to get attached to her, because getting emotionally attached to a stray will always be painful, especially if she is a noncommittal being like a cat. But they are safer for a person like me, who loves animals and birds. Why? They never get attached.

 

I have lived in my own home since sixteen years of age, my first experience of rented house started in 1999, and then I started to live in rented houses permanently from 2005. my first landlady was a very religious type of woman , we used to feed a stray dog and that created a lot of problems, since then I promised myself that I wont feed strays from house. Canines get attached. Their loyalty is what makes them my favourite creatures.

 

I would not have fed kitso either, that’s the name of my feline friend, but she conquered my resistance, and it’s her, who became my pet. She spends quite an ample amount of time outside my window, watching me. She is a real doll. If it was my ho\me I would have taken her in months ago, she is that cute.

children

Small children are God’s greatest gifts to human beings. I truly adore them, ever since my teenage my nephew and nieces have showered me up with their devoted affection. So I lived almost fifteen years in their close companionship, that is through mails and occasional visits. Unfortunately most of them lived quite far away from my home and my own sibling’s children are very small. Actually my own siblings taught me one should not get too much attached to other people’s children, a lesson which my cousins never taught me, they were pretty happy when their children ignored them and flocked around me.

 

Ever since seeing parental jealousy in its darkest form I have decided to stay away from other people’s children but still their angelic beauty always impresses me. If a person wants to live a really happy life he can learn to live from children.

 

I truly love to see the world through their eyes, their eyes of trust, happiness and forgiveness. Have you ever noticed how happy children are in their day to day affairs? Climbing stairs is a fun to them, watching a bird or beast or flower is a thing of great joy to them. So is running around, basking in sun, drenching in rain, playing with water.. their list of happy activities is too long.

 

Their hearts are huge. They will instantly forgive you even if you are absolutely wrong. They will trust you with all their heart. Even though I should ask people to practice caution in these two things but again I will say that if we want to be happy we should practice “rrust with caution” and “forgiveness with caution”. What if instead of making people earn our trust we do the other way round? Trust people till they convince us that they are untrustworthy? Or try to forgive others as long as they don’t convince us that they should not be forgiven?

 

I truly believe in that old quote “Child is the father of the man.”.

Kalipuja

Most of the urban Bengalis celebrate deepawali, but to some rare and lucky people like me, who have a “desher bari aka family home in village” are blessed with the chance of celebrating the real Kalipuja.



Well, let me warn you in the very beginning its not for feeble hearted people.

My ancestral home is under Khandaghosh P.S., its an old single storied home, atleast a few hundred years old, surrounded by ruins of our earlier abodes. The scenery is simply mind blowing.

On one side there is river damodar with its vast spread banks of sand and small gardens, on the other side are ruins, bushes, trees, bamboo groves and empty land.



Our home lights up only five days per year, during the durgapuja, when the entire family gathers. They bring generator sets and electricians who light up the entire house. It is enveloped in darkness through out the remaining year, the only mean of light is primitive forms like lantern and candle.

I have been to the Kalipuja a few times only, the place is not very safe so I had to stop myself from visiting regularly, but the memory of those puja is never to be erased from my heart and mind.

Kalipuja starts at midnight of the amavasya and the idol is immersed on bhaiphonta aka bhaidooj (the day after kalipuja). We - I, my two siblings and my uncle used to land in home at about noon of Kalipuja, after that my uncle used to leave to locate the purohit and see if the preparations are going in the right direction, and we used to fish out the pradeeps to clean them up and fill them with oil.



We used to place them all around the house after the dusk has settled in, with the help of others. I still rue the lack of a good camera, by which we could take the snap of that marvelous picture which those lighted pradeeps used to make at night.

Those of you who have a little imagination can just close your eyes and imagine a very old house surrounded by utter darkness. Only the house is lighted with simmering pradeeps, lined up beautifully against the dark sky and the dark surroundings. I still can see that scene after ten years in my mind’s eye.

After the puja used to start we used to gather in the pujamandap with handcounted villagers, who had sacrificed the funs of crackers to attend the puja. The pujamandap used to be dimly lit, with a couple of lanterns and petromaxes (a lantern like thing which burns atleast ten times brighter). We used to silently sit there, half dozing or watching the puja.

I used to slip out before the balidan (animal sacrifice), and go to the home, and sit at the gate, silently watching the people of Burdwan bursting crackers. As the only thing between Burdwan and my village was vast bank of Damodar river and the river itself I could see the bright crackers.



That’s a non forgettable memory. Not a single soul any where, just me and the silent surroundings. The sky full of stars, a silent dark row of ruined rooms where once was atithishala (rooms for travellers seeking shelter for night), and our own ancestor’s abodes, a sleepy riverbank lined by trees, the sky full of light of firecrackers.

We used to return the next morning, the purohit used to take care of the puja of the remaining two days, and the bisarjan.

Durgapuja diary

kalabou...

Maha Shashthi :

Till 1998 I used to go to my ancestral home in a village for durgapuja, then we shifted to kolkata first temporarily then permanently and it stopped.

In our hearts durgapuja starts from janmashtami, when the first touch is given to the idol in our puja dalan (the place where deity is placed during puja).

The complete feeling starts to flood in with the first dhak (drum) beats of vishwakarma puja (it falls on 17th september, I believe its celebrated as per english date).. then the recitation by birendrakrishna bhadra on Mahalaya, and the magic is complete. The countdown used to start.

Shashti morning meant the gathering of relatives one by one in our burdwan home. By afternoon we were in our village home with every thing packed with us. A generator set with electrical appliances, a cook, cooking utensils, grocery.. every thing including our personal stuff.

In every old family which holds durgapuja perfectly durgapuja starts on shashti evening, with inviting the goddess in the deity (clay idol) .. it is called pranpratishtha (bringing in the soul). None of us could imagine missing it, it’s a magical journey and we could feel the Goddess gently descending inside the clay body. Deity becomes mother.

Shashti mainly passed away in settling ourselves with all the bag and baggages in the home already cleaned up after being deserted for almost an year. And in relishing the company of all the relatives that have been able to gather, and a short trip around the home.. in the village.

Mahasaptami:

There is a asana (a seat) outside my village home, where an ancestor of mine has meditated and finally he saw mother goddess Kali.

There is a popular belief in our village that she still protects our ancestral home from mischievous creatures after darkness..people have seen her more than once (I am not one of those blessed souls).

So the asana is called panchamundi’s asana because five heads (including a human) are buried there.

Before every holy occasion this place is worshipped, every morning during durgapuja the dhakis (drummers) play their drums there at 4 AM. That’s wake up call for those who want to go to puja dalan to either see the puja completely or do stuffs, like mine was stiching garlands.. a huge number of them are required every morning. Candidates for stiching were too little then and there was an additional headache.. we had to collect the flowers too.. in an alien place, where we come only for five days every year.

So I rarely missed the dhakis.. I used to get up within a few minutes and change to look for flowers.

Saptami morning meant taking kalabou (Ganesha’s wife) to the river and bathe her. After that she was wrapped in a red border white saree and brought back with the kalash filled with water. She was escorted by girls of the family who waited with two kamandalus ( a special kind of jug with a very narrow pouring part like kettles), they used to sprinkle water in front of the people carrying her.. it meant sanctifying the path of the goddess.

Then the puja started. I used to stay in the puja dalan as much as possible.. leaving only once before arati to take my bath and change for the pushpanjali. Arati is worshipping the god/goddesses with various articles.. which are required by any one every day. Pushpanjali is of course the offering of flowers.

After that we used to retire to the home with prasad.. nothing else for the day, the sandhya arati .. a very long affair was held at night.

The in between time was utilized chatting with each other. Or sight seeing. Well, my village is quite beautiful. Its situated on the bank of damodar and is green.. full of bamboo groves, gardens, ponds and fields of various vegetables, rice and other things.

Sitting beside the river for hours is enough joy. Especially if you are chatting with a huge group of cousins. The crystal clear water is flowing through the sand, split in narrow streams.. it’s a divine sight for nature lovers.

A formal visit to home is made for lunch and then we either slept or went off again to return at the dusk.

Then it was tea time, music and stories. Clustered in the same room relishing each other’s company till the sandhya arati started. Of course we had to change dresses half heartedly before that.

After atleast an hour of sandhya arati we used to return for another round of chatting and eating.. finally hitting the floor.. yes, no bed nothing.. only bed sheet, pillows and mosquito net. But sleep came like a fairy with magic wand. We used to wake up only because of one reason barking of dogs, who used to gather in flocks for the left overs.

Mahashtami

This is the third day of Durgapuja. The most important day to Bengalis who perform this puja seriously, in orthodox way. Special puja is held at the junction of mahashtami and mahanavami it is called sandhikshan-the meeting moment. Every family which has been holding this puja for atleast a century have their own special rituals for this sandhipuja- arati and pushpanjali at sandhikshan; ours is offering 108 lotus and light up a tray with 108 pradeeps.

I have never missed the pushpanjali of sandhikshan, it means staying put without even a drop of water till the pushpanjali, the latest pushpanjali I remember was at two in the morning.

We had to bloom those lotus buds petal by petal very carefully before sandhikshan. That was a great get together of the entire family in the pujadalan. It hardly mattered he was fasting or not, every one loved to bloom those lotuses.

If the Sandhikshan was late that meant we were split in two parts, a considerable portion relaxing in the home while the other not so considerable portion was out, roaming in the village as usual. I was in the second part. It was no use sitting at home and watch others eating, was it?

Mahanabami

 

Mahanabami used to bring a feeling of sadness with it. In old families there is not much to do in vijayadashami morning, specially for members. Though my seniors used to ask for some garlands, but I believe that was because they wanted to console us.

 

So Mahanabami means almost end of puja, and beginning of waiting for another year. A deep sense of sadness creeps in, no matter how much you try to push it away.

 

There was only one bonus, the sandhyarati used to be very long, well, our arati used to be amply long in the first place, because the priests used to go as slow as possible while we stood there choking in the smoke created by incense sticks and dhuno (a powder which creates thick, perfumed smoke when sprinkled on simmering fire created by coconut skin).

 

It used to be our target to stand near the pillars, so we could lean on them during those long hours of arati. The youngsters competed for the chamars (a monstrous brush like thing used for the purpose of hand-fans).

 

 

Vijayadashami

 

Vijayadashami meant end of the fun days. Those who used to wake up early to do the puja arrangements could stay in bed for a little late. Only those who were absolutely devoted woke up early and left for the pujadalan.

 

After a brief puja the priest used to move the mangalghat a little, that meant that the Goddess has left for her home. Then some special rituals were held. The eldest bride of the whole family used to take a tray of rice and pradeeps from the pujadalan to laxmir ghar (the room where the goddess of wealth, Malakshmi resides). Then the men used to write the name of mother goddess durga on the leaves of bel, well we women joined them in the later years. How can we be deprived of that pleasure?

Then the mangalghat was immersed in river, any one who wanted to accompany it was allowed to do so. We used to utilize this occasion for a lengthy bath in the river.

 

Then the married women of the family used to apply sindur to the deity and feed sweets to her. It’s quite a well known ritual these days, called sindurkhela, its one of the favourite display of movies and serials, after dhunuchi nach (which is not a part of our puja).

 

The deity is carried outside the pujadalan in the evening, that is the only occasion when we can touch it, and we touch its feet.

 

Carriers take her away for immersion after the darkness falls; the men of the family accompany her, women crowd on the roof to see her as far as we can. Usually at-least one of the male members carry flashlight with them and keep shining it on her face so we could get her glimpses.

 

Then we come downstairs and start a short tour, offering our pranams to half a dozen temples around the home. Then we touch the feet of elders and hug those who refuse to touch feet or receive pranams. By the time we women have finished it men used to return and change into typical Bengali dress – dhuti panjabi, after that we all used to gather in the pujadalan.

 

Then the men used to touch the feet of elders, that was a beautiful thing to watch. They were seated seniority wise and the ceremony started from the youngest. Touching feet and hugging each other. This ceremony over a small function was held that every one back to their homes. Sad and tired.

 

Ekadashi

 

Ekadashi meant goodbye time. Wake up as late as you wish. My ekadashi meant roaming around the village wearing my gown, with a cup of tea in my hand.

 

We cant imagine that happiness in urban pujas. We used to return to our urban homes after taking the lunch and resting for a while.

 

With the deep yearning for the next puja.